my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
No subtext here. People are naked.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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