So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
