i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize