I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize