Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
