I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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