it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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