You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
