I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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