I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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