hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
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