We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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