The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
