We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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