I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
