office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Bring me that man meat
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
