Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
