we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
