evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
if only i could text you this smell
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
