She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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