32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
