I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize