i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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