She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
be right there i have to get my cape
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
