why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
