Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
