If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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