I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
