Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize