The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
