there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
