my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
