You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
