is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
