i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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