im gay
i know
yea but for you.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
