dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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