end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm bleeding and have questions
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize