we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
