So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
