I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
