Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
