You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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