My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize