I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
