how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
