matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
