What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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