woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
