how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
