She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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