the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
