Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
