he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
