just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
please come you make the beer taste better
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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