So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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