from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
