id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I don't think brook has ever known best
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How drunk are you?
Completed.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
