My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
a search helicopter?!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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